abstract

My 9th Sem (Post Graduation)

2010-01-17T03:11:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone

Post Vhee.Z(J)hay.Tea.aaI, life has been a big transition for me. I worked with a BPO for like 2 months; earned a decent enough booty, spent it as well and then joined my organization here in Pune alongwith K2. We share an apartment and are on our own. Trust me, living on your own makes oneself completely different individual altogether..(Posts on that coming up soon..) Anyways, as I had mentioned in the earlier post about my ultra-awesome,outta this world training, here’s a peep into the realm of idiocy. I call it – My 9th Sem (Post Graduation).

Well, it all started on the 26th Oct 2009—my first day as a trainee. And from that day till today I am supposedly being trained on various technologies and lord knows what all crap. However, the training room scene is totally different than what is perceived from the outside. We’ve done everything that is like a BIG NO –NO in the training centre. Right from watching movies to playing LAN games—we’ve done it all. We’ve even managed to beat the n/w admins ass and get internet access to all the restricted domains as well. And what to say about the trainers! We’ve booed them, called them names and some have even slept under their nose. But one thing that is so strikingly evident in all of them is their English vocab and grammar which I so feel is encumbered by their mother tongue –(Marathi). Following are the few masterpieces that my colleague P managed to capture over the period of a month or somethhng.(I surmise he just gave up after that..!!) Enjoy..!!

1. Example made Kapil Sabil to run into the Ministry Dept.
2. Your geometry has to be closed.
3. Today’s scenarios is something, it is not something.
4. I have the quality of a product…(You bet..!!!)
5. He installed the s/w on 100s of installations.
6. The cost varies from high to very high kind of thing.
7. The bottom line is this graph i.e economics..(WTF..!!!)
8. Concept comes in some professors concept..(….?????....)
9. You are saying, everytime we are talking..(What on the earth did he mean by
this…)
10.Next is what is here..
11.Instead of going to Kulu Manali, you can start planning to go to Kulu Manali.
12.Answer is . this is idiot. (I bet you are one..)
13.You have to take care of language kind of thing.
14.Last bench..? (Some guy in the middle row answers)Trainer rebuffs-- You are not
last bench..!!!
15.Obviously you are now freezed.
16.Developers are smarty kind of thing.
17.Send it to the pending.
18.9/11 happened in you know the twin towers..
19.(While citing an ex of protocol) Next Monday,i’l find all of you are in a tie.
20.Yes..(pasues) No..(pasues some more).. talking.
21.Sachin Deshpande didn’t come means there is some runtime exception.
22.Suppose my name is Kedar..(He actually was Kedar K)
23.Create function to search Employee. IF employee not searched, throw an exception.
24.You are divided between client and server.
25.This is a part of your head.( is tag used in html)
26.If you want that status bar disply..ahh.. hmm change mozilla firefox display..!
27.I am going to consume your time.
28.Have a patience.. In a 3 days its difficult to understand me..(gimme 3 million
years and stil I wont be able to..)

Here are a few dirty ones..
1.I am just touching your basics.
2.I am just feeling the heap (pronounced as ‘hip’) area. Everyone feel the heap
area.

El Classico
1.Trainer to one of the students—“Yes-please”.. whats your name?
Student—Sir, Maninder.. Sir..
Trainer (after thinking for sometime) –“Yes-please”… Don’t talk..!!
2.(While we were watching soe movie in the last bay)—Last row is one row..!!!(We
figured out later it was “Last row make one row”).

Cheers

Lalit

P.S: The fanbulastic English vocab and the accent reminds me of my college profs and staff. Hence the name to the post.

Im Back..!!!

2010-01-08T18:40:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone

It's been a long time that I did this. Lot of things have happened and changed in L's life in the last 4-5 months. L's played his las gig, lazied , worked in a BPO n have finally joined ATOS ORIGIN and at present is the last few weeks of his awesome, work-free training.

Ls' got loads to talk about here.

Hope all you guys are doing good. Cya soon

Cheers

Lalit

p.S: watch this space for some crazy shit happening around L.. ciao

Silence..

2009-06-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

Finally, the day had come when He was supposed to leave. He met all of them for that one last time together, that one last good-bye and that one last hug.

She liked him from a long time but just couldn’t let it out. After hearing this news, she knew the time had come. She had to tell him about her feelings. The feelings that she had felt deep and dense inside her every-time she saw him.

They were all there at the air-port to bid him good-bye. He came and hugged her tight. He had never ever done that before. He left. She saw him go. She didn’t tell him anything.

She stood still, with a smile on her face; a wet blur in her eyes but still bliss in her heart. Because that one moment, those few seconds when he held her in his arms, she lived an entire lifetime and she was happy with that.

Some things don’t make sense even if you say them loud but some are felt even if they are never said at all. And that’s the beauty of SILENCE..

Cheers

Lalit

KAMLA KA HAMLA...

2009-03-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone..Well its after a very very long time I'm back here to pakao u guys with my usually unsual stuff. This is a very funny or rather embarrasing incident that happened with me long time back. But whenever I recollect the same or revisit the same place where it took place, I end up laughing. [And you guys know like how interesting or funny an incident should be to make me laugh...:D] Well.. this is how it goes...

I was driving my way back after dropping off one of my friends near Mulund and I happened to get a signal at the the Teen Haath Naka in Thane. Well, it's a pretty long signal of about 160 secs or something. And as every signal in Mumbai is, even this one's a sacred place for all the beggars, vendors and eunuchs who are popularly known as the KAMLAs and the VIMLAs these days.. all thanks aour raido channels.. Although they aren't that frequent at this place but that was their scheduled day I guess.

Anyways, I was waiting at the signal listening to some crap on the radio and this one eunuch happened to spot me and started asking for some money. The excerpt of the same is as follows:

He/She..?? : Aye raaaaajjjjjjuuuu..... kuch de naaaaa rrrreeee...
I : Kuch nahi hain...[I never give money to these people.. Reason,
dunno...]
He/She..?? : Aye chikne....mere hero.. kuch to de... bhagwan tujhe acchi biwi dega
rrrrreeeeeee....
I : Are yaar....bola na..kuch nahi hain... jaao abhi idhar se...
He/She..?? : AAArreee aisaa kya bolta tu.. tvoda to de... Kya rrree Mere LALU...!!!

After these few last words from his/her mouth, I was stunned. I just couldn't digest what I was referred to as and I handed over some money to him/her. The signal was about to go green and out of curiosity I literally looked outta the window to check out what he/she was referring to other automobile drivers at the signal and I was shocked again... Again the same word.
The signal went green and I thought, mebbe they have left the RAJUs & PAPPUs and have found some new ones. Hope so they get over with that one soon…

Cheers

P.S: For people who don’t know, LALU is my pet name, something by which I’v been referred for like 21 fcukin years..!!!

Symphony of the VOID..

2008-07-25T23:29:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone

This one's very weird (with a weird title as well). I dunno but such abnormal cerebrations have always been a part & parcel of my not-so-normal head. And i guess many of yours even. So here's one of the few. Enjoy

Have you ever wondered or analyzed what "VOID" actually means. Emptiness is an obvious answer. I know. But I don't simply agree with it. I'm like one of those who happen to have a confused-yet-so-clear temperament about the general scheme of things. Most of my thinking revolves only around one thing..one question.. "WHY NOT..???".And its amusing because it tends to fetch you very distinct opinions & diverging answers as you apply it to the most obvious banal stuff. Thinking like this is difficult yet so simple to comprehend; ugly yet so beautiful in its own sense & mourning yet so blissful in the end. Maybe that's the reason I tend to act so-like-an-idiot in most of the serious situations or maybe a complete shocker at times. Well, that's what I prefer to call "The Symphony of the VOID". The term itself is so ironic, a paradox in itself. How can something which is VOID be symphonic at the same time. It can be. Read on..

The VOID can be anything, anywhere. A person, an environment, a relation, you, me. Anything. The best way to exemplify it to think about a pipe. An empty hollow pipe. A small one. Nothing in it. Total crap. Of no use what-so-ever. But then you pick it up take it close to your ears & whoa..It starts humming.It starts singing into you. The little piece of metal actually stores in itself the magical sound of silence. It stores in itself the sargam, the symphony along with which the entire universe hums in unison. That's the "Symphony of the VOID" which you can only feel. Never express. And its unique to everyone. Difficult yet so simple to comprehend; ugly yet so beautiful in its own sense & mourning yet so blissful in the end. It helps you to answer the trickiest conundrum ever..What is LIFE ???. Simple. Its a VOID. Its a VOID. Yes & the only way to understand it is take it close to yourself & listen to it. You'l be able to hear the symphony as well. The melody which will make your lips curl upto your ears. And then you'l realize the power of EMPTINESS. The power of NOTHING. The Symphony of VOID.

So next time whenever you feel low, depressed, feel like the VOID inside you taking control. Let it do. Because it might just be helping you to understand the SYMPHONY stored inside.

Cheers

LALIT

P.S: Nothing to say. Completely VOID. Hope you get that..:D

A real LAME one..

2008-07-16T09:02:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone

No need for any introduction to this. Here's how it goes.

Boy: Hey wassuupp..
Girl: Hii.. nuin much ..u say
Boy: (looking at something) Are i guess your " G string" is about to break..
Girl:(looking confused) What..!!!!!
Boy: Are see.. now.. (snap)..I told you naa..
Girl: OH F**K..!!!
Boy: Don't worry.. I have an extra one.. You can use mine..But make sure you don't
hit as hard as you did the last time..
Girl: Yea sure..I'l make sure it doesn't happen again.. Thanks..
Boy: Anytime dahlin.. Anytime...

Cheers

LALIT

PS: The 3rd string of a guitar is named as "G". And ha.. Guys do carry an extra one in case of emergencies like above.:D

Saat Samundar..Dhik Chik Dhak Chik...

2008-06-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone

Its been a long since my last post. And it was a bit serious too. So I was just wondering for the past few days what next to write about. Hmm.. then I kinda recollected this another stupid incident happened with me & my friends. So here's an insight into our stupid world...

It was last year I guess & there was some occassion when all of us had gone out for a late lunch. Late, because when we guys start deciding about what place to go, time just flies away in a jiffy. And we end up going to the same place always...So as expected, even this time it was the HIMALAYA restaurent near Shanmukhanand Hall in Sion. We hogged some good punjabi dishes as usual & were on our way back to matunga station. We thought of walking it up till there for many reasons..the prime most being noone ready to shell out a single penny on the cab...( yes.. we are cheap..!!!)So.. there we were, 5 dolts walking on the footpaths on our way back.

As we near king circle, we sight a "GANNE KA JUICE" waala. We go in to have a glass each. As soon as we enter, we are welcomed by some loud music played in the shop's background & the amplifier was blissfully playing it at a full bass. We all sit there. Everyone looks at each other & in split seconds we are on our feets--dancing to the track SAAT SAMUNDAR. Some age old famous DIVYA BHARTI track.

We all start singing loud---

WE-- Saaaaaaaat Saaaaamuuuunnndaaaarrr...

LOUDSPEAKER-- Dhik chik Dhak Chik...Dhik chik Dhak Chik...

WE(again)-- Saaaaaaaat Saaaaamuuuunnndaaaarrr...

LOUDSPEAKER(again)-- Dhik chik Dhak Chik...Dhik chik Dhak Chik...

WE & LOUDSPEAKER together-- Saaaaat Saaaammmuuunnndaaaarr paaaar mein tere peeche
peeche aaa gaaayiii...

(Meanwhile our glasses arrive at the table. One of my friends, K, lifts his glass,holds it on his head & starts dancing again. Inspired by him, others follow suite-- Drunkards high on nothing.)

WE & LOUDSPEAKER together-- Zulmi meri jaan.. Zulmi meri jaan tere kadmon ke neeche
aa gayi.... Saaaaat Saaaammmuuunndaaaar.... wah...

Hahaaha... We come to our senses after finishing the glasses & also the juicewala is about to pack up. We thank him for the juice & the free ENTERTAINMENT & We all head back on our journey again enchanting the two golden words-- Saaaaat Saaammmuunnndaaarr..Dhik chik Dhak chik...

Cheers

LALIT

P.S: Sugarcane juice can actually give you a HIGH at times.

Enjoy...

Main Kaun..???

2008-06-08T03:19:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone

Alright before ME or YOU start with this one, I warn YOU that the following text may hinder YOUR mental development drastically. It may even push YOU into a state of total cerebral disarray eventually leading to an attack--Which type I seriously can't predict. So it totally depends on YOUR discretion to continue further or no. Here it goes...

Once upon a time L hears one, stupidest of the stupidest joke ever in his LIFE.The joke is so lame, so utter non-sensical crap, that L just can't stop laughing after hearing it(Yea.. L is a little crack up there.. but still anyways). He just can't wait to say it out to his friends & check the look on their faces.

L starts—

Ek baar ek sardar rahta hain. Woh Amitabh ka bahut bada fan hain.
So ek din woh decide karta hain ki Amitabh ko milneka..iiich. Aur woh
Mumbai me aata hain.

Us din Amitabh ghar pe akela hota hain. Sardar uske bangle ke watchman
ko bolta hain ki usko kuch bhi karke Amitabh ko milne ka hain. Woh uska bahut
bada fan hain aur bahut dur se aaya hain. Fir watchman usko jaane deta hain.

Sardar darwaze pe knock karta hain.

Amitabh (andar se) -- HAAI.. saala. Kaun hain.. HAAI..

Sardar(bahar se) – Main hun..

Amitabh( fir se) – HAAI.. saala. Kaun hain.. HAAI..

Sardar(fir se) – Main hun..

Amitabh -- HAAI.. saala. MAIN KAUN.. HAAI..

Sardar – Tu AMITABH BACHCHAN…hhahahahahhahahhaa

L bursts into a thunderous laughter. Along with him many from his group do the same. The girls however choose to be indifferent as usual. L & his friends continue their stupidity. They repeat the lines & start off again. L wonders, looking at others who don’t seem to enjoy the joke as they do—“ How can you guys not laugh on such joke yaar..?” ( L, seriously is dumb…)

Cheers

LALIT

P.S: A few days later, one of L’s friends K has to go & meet some M.Tech student A, who takes their laboratory projects. K’s never seen A ever. Still he goes. K reaches the probable location & asks some random guy sitting on one chair.

K – Sir, A sir kidhar hain..??

A - Kya kaam hain..??(The others in the background start giggling & K doesn't
understand what's happening.

K (again) – Sir.. woh project ka kaam hain. A sir kidhar hain..??

A (laughing) – To phir MAIN KAUN hun..???

K ( in split seconds) – Tu AMITABH BACHCHAN…hahahhahahaha

A’s mouth is wide open as his brains can’t register what exactly happened.

Enjoy

45 minutes==4 Stages of LIFE..!!!

2008-05-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone

I m back..After not so long but still. Anyways hope all of you out there are doin good. So here's my new post. A complete knowledge of what LIFE is made up of. And by LIFE i'm not talking about my LIFE or your's or someone else's in particular. It's all about LIFE in general. Atleast thats what he told me. He who??? Read on guys..

One morning at around 1130 hrs I had my appointment with some eye-specialist to get my contact lenses done. So I had to get up early & leave with my dad to see the eye-doctor. So at around 1125 hrs I reach this building which had a kinda shady entrance--the ones like the typical commercial buildings have which came up long ago & then had noone to look after. Hmmm.. So I reach the desired place & walk upto the receptionist, which again was one of the typical receptionists you have at the typical commercial building offices. i verify my appointment & then wait for my turn which thankfully was 2nd.

The doc walks in like at around 1145 hrs & the 1st guy enters his cabin. I was sitting around, reading some stupid mags lying here & there, completly unaware of what is gonna strike me in the next 45 mins to come. The 1st guy walks out & its my turn. I look at the clock & it stares at me-- 1150hrs. I enter the cabin.

The doctor was a bit old-- in his 60s mebbe. I didn't expect anything different either. He asks for my name & then proceeds on with my eye check up. He puts some device on my eyes & then starts experimenting..hmmm.. actually playing with it. He puts in one glass inside it & then asks--Hows this..??. I say-- "Ah ha.. Not that good". He goes again. I answer. He goes.I answer. Fnally he stops & gets my actual lens power. I look at the clock again-- 12.10. He calls in my dad then to explain him the details & get his fees. And then starts a conversation which I like still remember. I simply can't erase it out of my memory.

After a little hi--hello with my dad, He starts. And man did he start well. I was just stunned at what struck me after that maybe because I was completly unaware of what was gonna shoot me off. He said--" Temme your age beta.." "20" I replied & then he continued as if there was no end--" See, you are just 20 now. This time is for enjoying & understanding what LIFE is. LIFE is a simple concept of four stages. Stage 1-till you are 25 yrs old. You are in this stage. In this stage your main aim should be studying & working for your future. All your concentration & efforts should be focussed towards building a good career for yourselves." I wondered what the f**k is this guy talking about man. LIFE..???Shit.. But he had more.

He continued--" Stage 2-- from 26 till 50. In this satge you shoud have all the "FUN" in your LIFE. Get married. Have kids. Enjoy your work. And understand your responsibilities towards your family as well. But ha the "FUN" should never die out you see." Man.. the face he made when using the "F" word was something to watch. It made the unhderlying meaning crystal clear to me. And to add to my misery,my dad as well who just kept staring at me wondering how the f**k am I taking all that. Anyways the doc continued--" Stage 3--from 51 to 75. In this stage you should think about serving your society. Your involvement in your family which now has like your grandchildrens as well, should be minimal. You should think about the society." I was just on the verge on loosing it now but was somehow controlling it. But He seriously had come prepared to give someone his piece of mind that day.

He--" Stage 4-- from 76 till you are alive. In this stage...." Knock Knock.. Someone comes at the door & gosh i'm relieved & i guess so was my dad. But He is pissed. The look he gives to the nurse says it all. I look at the clock--1235hrs. "F**K ..!! 45 mins!!!" I shout out loud, in my mind obv.

We leave the place as fast as we can & i promise not to visit it again. I seriously had some crap put into my head which made it go bonkers for sure. But I guess the doc surely might have enjoyed.

Cheers

Lalit

P.S: Sincere thanks to the nurse who came in & saved me from some more mental torture. But wish she could have come in a little early..[:D]

Enjoy

Insaniyat..!!!

2008-05-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone..

You guys might have heard about the recent blasts in the Jaipur city. The bomb blasts ripping off the enitre city into pieces. Killing innocent lives. Rendering several homeless. Many children lost their families. The pink city was all red. Red with the bloodshed. Red with the tears of so many. For some it was victory & for some a huge defeat. But it's not the triumph of some "jihadis" over us. Or the loss of some governement against an organization. It's the loss of HUMANITY. Perdition of our so called "INSANIYAT".

Have all of them forgotten that the ones killed can someday be replaced by themselves. Killing for no damn reason. How the hell is this justified..? Anyways.. my BAND had decided once to compose upon such a theme. And that's how this song INSANIYAT was born. It emphasizes on the one question wandering through everyones mind. Hope you all like it.

Here's the link -- PLAY.

Insaniyat

Lyrics-- Sudhir Khollam

dhuan… hai kyun itna dhuan
hua… najane kaise hua
kahan… hai chali yeh duniya
jalaa.. isme main kyun bhala

kho gayi…hai chaahat kaheen
ho gayi… sabhiko nafarat yaheen
kho gaya…jaise yeh caravan
ro raha…har ek insaan

hogayi… … kaisi yeh aadat
khogayi……..Hai….. Insaaniyat

dhuan… hai kyun itna dhuan
hua… najane kaise hua

main chala…ab duur kaheen
ho jahan… sukuun vaheen
pyaar ho…. aur nafarat nahin
jeet ho.. kabhi haar nahin

hogayi… kaisi yeh aadat
khogayi……..Hai….. Insaaniyat

Talkover:
Khaali the tere haath; jab tuu aaya tha,
Saath bhi apne kuch nahi le jayega
Zindagi mein teri,
mutthi bhar khushiyan;
mutthi bhar gum;
Par jeene ki vajaha phir bhi rahegi… Insaaniyat
Zinda hain tu is duniyan mein
Karzdaar hain tu iska..
Farz hain tera yeh karz chukaana
Insaniyat ke diye ko bhujne se bachana…

Cheers

LALIT

Enjoy

SHE, HE & THEIR LIFE.

2008-05-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone..

This one's a little bit off-track. But was just wondering whether I can write some serious stuff as well & mold it with some of my sardonic comments as usual. That was the birth of SHE in my "little-brain-big-looking head". Dunno how these cerebrations developed into a total personality & eventually into something which I could actually write about here. Anyways, as simple as the title to this post goes, the story below is the same--She, He & Their LIFE..!!!

Actually, you guys might be wondering what exactly these three entities symbolize . It might be " A mother, her son & their LIFE", "A sister, her brother & their LIFE", or maybe " A girl, her guy & their LIFE..". Sorry to disappoint you all. But I could think only on the lines of the last option. Man, writing about a "Mother & Son"pair is too difficult I feel & "Sister- Brother" blogs don't sell that much.. haha. So I chose to be safe & sell-able. Here's how it goes.

She was a simple, average girl & He was no difference. Both had a simple LIFE until they met each other & it all turned opposite. They met through a common friend which soon was gonna become an “uncommon” one. As expected, slowly & gradually, He & She became the best of friends. People started raising their eyebrows. But got the same old reply—“We are JUST FRIENDS”. Days weren’t complete for them unless they spent hours of it talking to each other. Days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. And Months into years. Actually only a year. Years is too long a period & I don’t have that much of time as well to insert a twist in the story. So yea. Where was I. Ha. And months into “a year”. The day arrived when they completed one year of their “AMBUJA CEMENT “ types friendship. Why AMBUJA CEMENT..? C’mon people..You haven’t heard –“IS CEMENT MEIN JAAN (LIFE) HAIN..”. Even their friendship had a LIFE & it was time to give that LIFE an altogether new & different meaning. He somehow collected all the bits & pieces of courage he had in him & proposed She. She couldn’t believe what struck her but couldn’t resist the effect either. It was one of those enthralling moments of She’s LIFE. Also He’s. As expected She said YES. She had to. Otherwise how could I go ahead with my storyline. So for me, She & He were finally more than “JUST FRIENDS”. Their LIFE had begun.

Days became more & more beautiful as they passed. She just couldn’t imagine her LIFE without He. They hugged. They kissed. They were inseparable. But as they say, every good thing in this world has to come to an end, She & He’s LIFE was taking the same route. Understanding each other was soon replaced by the “blame game”. The use of “We” soon vanished & took the devilish form of “Me & You”. Hours of talking were reduced to minutes, even seconds at times. Reason for all this—no one knew. Not even She & He. She thought about the same old crap—“He’s two-timing me”& He thought –“She doesn’t understand me anymore”. A perfect time for me to insert another twist in the story & I did. She & He met for what you call the “last time” on one fine day. She & He both understood each other’s silence. They say—“Silence speaks louder than words at times. You just need to have the right set of ears”. She & He both did. It was time for that dreaded moment. He somehow again collected all the bits & pieces of courage he had in him & called it off only to see She doing the same. It was again one of the most enthralling moments of She’s & He’s LIFE. Individual & together both. One second, one word & it was all over. She & He parted ways.

She was shattered. Her LIFE was hurt & so were her studies. Her career was on stake because of her state of mind. Everyone around her blamed her for her mistake. A million pieces of her heart confused her day in & day out. She had the anger & frustration inside her. Just couldn’t vent it out somehow. At times She thought of ending her LIFE. But She was not a coward. She thought of writing it all. Writing about her LIFE. She wrote her heart out. Wrote on dry papers. Made them wet. Wrote as if it was her last times. But all her writing had one thing in common. She kept asking He why he did that to her in them. Just kept wondering why it had to happen with her. (It had to dahlin… Or else how could I write this post..lol) Anyways burnt & broken as She was, She just couldn’t move on. She felt hurt & helpless & confided everything in Someone. Someone was She’s good friend & that someone helped her move on. The only line that She remembers someone telling her was—“You liked him & like him still is your very own personal right. Noone can deny that from you. Not even He.” She understood the underlying meaning of that simple sentence. And She learnt the meaning of LIFE.

She still lives in the same mood as she used to be. She still likes He. Maybe loves He as well. She learnt the lesson of LIFE. Maybe the hard way but she did. She’s happy now. Happy with the her LIFE..

Now you guys might be wondering why I wrote about She. Dunno. Just felt like writing. Maybe some “She” or “He” can actually relate to it or maybe not. Actually the irony of LIFE is that—“ We live our life FORWARD but tend to learn it BACKWARDS. We see , we learn & we live. We always think that looking back at all the sad moments in LIFE would make us laugh on them someday but never believe that looking at all the happy ones will actually make us cry. That’s what makes LIFE so interesting as it did for She. “ Phew.. It took me a lot to frame that correctly..haha..

Cheers

LALIT

P.S: I guess I can actually write a lil bit of serious stuff. Hope it wasn’t boring. Even if it was I just don’t give a fudge..

Enjoy

"MICA BITWAAH KI MITHAI"...

2008-05-13T09:50:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone..

Here I go again reminiscing another funny incident of my life to post in my new blog...Again before starting I'm sorry for using another insane title to the post. Anyways here’s how this one goes..

It was my first year of engineering at V.J.T.I & my 2^nd semester in the college. We Engineers have like a very crappy 1st year in college where in we are suppose to study all the subjects common to all engineering fields. So we had subjects like Mechanics, Graphics, BME, EE etc etc.. Of all of them the crappiest I found was Applied Sciences which had like the sickos—Physics & Chemistry in it. People loved to hate these two & I wasn’t an exception. This incident is related to one of these & also to my friend’s uncanny knowledge about the whacky titles of practically all the “BHOJPURI” movie titles. (Thanks to him, I now can devise my own whacky titles..!!)

It was one of those sick Chemistry lectures on one fine afternoon. Boring it was as usual and icing on the cake was the boring professor. But thankfully it was never boring for us. Actually no lecture was. Because we used to pass cheap, sick comments & play paper ball fight during the lectures. So it was fun. So what happened was this Madam of ours was teaching us some sick chapter about some elements and compounds & stuff. Mind you guys she had a very funny accent which made us laugh like anything.

We were sitting on the last bench—me & two of my friends amongst whom one was a girl. My other friends were sitting ahead of us & the Madam was as usual explaining something from the dais. My other friend had got some MITHAI BOX from Mathura which he opened during the lecture. We three ate the last few bites left in the box but it still had some few minute particles inside. We wondered what to do with the box when out of the blue my friend who was sitting beside me ( ..the BHOJPURI movie master..) took the box in his hands, hurled it around & threw it on of the guys sitting on the 2^nd bench. The entire class bursted into a thunderous laughter & pity the victim, he was all in MITHAI.. haha. I just couldn’t control my laughter. The madam heard the roar & came down from the dais & gave the old obsolete warning speeches. Thankfully she couldn’t gauge what happened. But we were still laughing somehow, hiding our face, going below the benches…hahahha. It was not over as yet.

The madam then started teaching standing near our row. We were still in a funny mood. She was explaining us something about “MICA”. As soon as she uttered the first “MICA”, I shouted “BITWA”… It was loud enough for the last 3 benches & all of us started laughing again. Btw people, “MAI KA BITWA..(Mother's Son)” was one of the latest BHOJPURI flicks released then..(Thanks to my friend I knew about this..) We were laughing our hearts out. Whenever the professor used to utter “MICA” it had to follow with a “BITWA” from our side. Shit it was hilarious...!!! “MICA….BITWA”, “MICA….BITWA”, “MICA….BITWA”.. She said it & we gave it back. And she was asking for more. More “MICA’s”.. more & more “BITWAA’s”..hahhaha…. it was damn funny.

As expected, we caught the professor’s attention. She came near our bench & started her same old warning lectures. But we, like some shameless nuts, were laughing on her face. She looked at all of us & said—“(W)All you guys think yourselves as EEROES…” & then looking at the girl sitting on my bench continued..”..& EEROINES or what..” That thing made me laugh like hell. She took all our roll no.s except one. We were thrown out of the class as expected in a mere half n hour & were saved from the remaining one n half hour turmoil. All thanks to our BHOJPURI master friend..!! Haha…

Cheers

LALIT

P.S:- The funniest part was that the one roll no. the professor didn’t take was that of the same BHOJPURI master friend’s. HAHHA… Pity that guy seriously..!! He had to sit for the entire lecture all alone while we enjoyed recollecting the incident outside. Hahaha… “MICA BITWAAH & MITHAI” saved our a***s from some sick chemistry stuff.. N ha before signing off ..Special Thanks to the BHOJPURI movies for gifting us with such whacky titles. Ciao

Enjoy.

PASHYA 'DA' FATKA, VIR 'DA' DHABA & KULCHAND 'DA' PAAN

2008-05-12T10:31:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone..
This is my first blog. I was waiting for quite a long time, finding different reasons to start blogging but just clouldn't find an interesting subject to write upon or may be i was just lazying around avoiding it intentionally..(hmm.. this one actually sounds genuine..). But anyways here I am. Finally penning down my first blog. Here it goes...OK.. one more thing..Now before starting off, I apologize for that insane title. But just couldn't resist using it. Reason, you guys will find out as u read on. So, here it goes.. again..

My exams got done on friday & dad had already made a plan for the weekend. I was supposed to go to PUNE to some "aunty of mine's" place. He really wanted me to come with him & mom to meet this aunty and her family.(crap.. i just don't get the concept of what our folks mean by "meet someone"..).Anyways i hopped on and agreed to the plan. Not because I can't see my mom & dad disappointed. But because they were supposed to go by our car & I so desperately wanted to drive. Yea seriously...The level of desperation was same as my dad's. Although his was for a different reason--getting a "free driver". Anyways , all things set & we moved out on saturday morning at around 0700 hrs & thanks to the "free driver", we all reached my aunty's place by 1000 hrs. And ha the drive was actually amazing.

The place was awesome. Trust me guys, we people in mumbai have forgotten the concept of bungalows. An entire 3000 sq ft area just for you & your family. Amazing... I liked her place alot. Oh. i just forgot to mention. She has a son, Satya, of the same age as me & doing the same studies as me. That was the main purpose of me going with my folks. I atleast have someone to hang around while our folks can have their same old "who's who & who's done what" chats. So as expected my plan was set for the night.

The coming night was simply superb. I wanted it to be exciting but it turned out to more than what I had expected. Satya called up his friends in the afternoon—“ Pashya, Anpya, Shikya &Vickya..”to meet up in the night. These are not their real names ofc but the “..ya lingo” which
they have can butcher any damn name in this world. So for them I was "Lalya". Anyways, of all the above, Pashya was kinda the leader. I could make that out in seconds after I met him. An average guy with an average posture but a mouth big enough to eat up the entire world. That was Pashya. After picking him up from his workplace, we three—me, satya & pashya head off on satya’s bike to live the night away. And yes, we drove ”Tripsee – Triple seat” The night had just begun guys.

As Pashya drove through the roads of Pune, Satya was calling up the others to decide the meeting place & I was just enjoying their conversation.Words which I had never heard before were given to me in opulence. It made me laugh my heart out. Pashya, as I mentioned above was famous for his “kidas” & I got a full fledge display of that when he was driving. His cuts and speed defined it all. Speeding away, he tried to cut away another bike on the road which had like two 6 ft guys on it & somehow managed to do it by brushing away the rear tyre. Satya started abusing and reproving Pashya’s act & I could only say “ Bhaga.. Bhaga.. Woh log peeche aa rahe hain..” And as expected they caught us in just a 500m chase. Damn you.. Pulsar manufacturers.

Now here we were. At around 0000 hrs, five of us in the middle of some “chowk”. The two guys called up their boys to bang the hell outta Pashya. Satya asked me to stay back as he intervened in between. Pashya managed to settle down their heads with some contacts of his & I was just an onlooker. After some talks as one of the guys warned him off ,the other just saw a chance & let out a big hand on Pashya's face. Satya intervened & even he got one. I was jus shocked. All you see in the movies and fight scenes is totally different than what you perceive it LIVE..!! Thankfully, I didn’t get anything. Dunno why. The guys just left & Pashya was furious. He just wanted to break open the big guys head. We went to Anpya’s place but met him on the way. Pashya explained him the “matter”as I looked & Anpya explained him why they can’t settle it the night itself. Anpya was a more matured guy comparatively. But both of them had one thing in common. Their contacts with the “bhais”. Ater a lot of talk, Pashya went off to freshen up & come back. Meanwhile, Shikya & Vickya joined us at the same place & Satya just said one thing—“ Saala, mujhe maaloom hain..yeh Pashya ch****a aaj rat ko settle karke hi rahega “.I was just looking at the entire situation & wondering what more the night had in store for me. And trust me guys I wasn't disappointed.

We were just deciding what to do ahead in the night when Pashya came in blowing the bike horn as if it were a train, all smiles on his face. We knew something had happened & bingo..Pashya did as Satya had said. He took some “Sachya” with him, searched the big guys out and even whacked them, all within the span of a mere half n hour. Now I came to know why they used to call him—Baadshah of their group. I was impressed. I asked Satya how he managed to do this & all he said was—“ Uske paas Sachya hain.. Unke paaas kya ghanta kuch tha..”

Phew..!! That was one close encounter. But now all was settled & we were on our way to "somewhere" which yet was undecided. I just wondered what more i'l have to face because the night was just young.

Unamiously,(except me obv..) it was decided that we are heading towards VIR’DA’ DHABA. On our way, Satya told me that this was one of the most happening places to be on any weekend in Pune. Pashya & Vickya had promise me one hell o a time & trust me guys it was one hell o a party going on. There was a bacchanalian going on which included young & old both. For the first time ever I had seen around 500 drunk people just doing the two things which they were best at—drinking & dancing. Music was overflowing & was adding fuel to the lightning atmosphere. The ambience of the place was simply amazing. Even a person who has got two left feet viz Satya couldn’t resist shakin a leg r two. The energy in those drunkards was seriously conducive. After an half n hour dance we were relaxing on one table, both tired & enthusiastic simultaneously. Satya explained me that all the people who work in the different I.T. companies in Pune come over in the weekend here to chill out. I was just stunned to look at the party happening. All the people unanimously shouted at regular intervals VIR ‘ DA’ DHABA… CHAK DE PHATTE as the owner VIR SINGH looked proudly at them. There were “Dhols”, “Nagadas” everything. True to its meaning, VIR ’DA’ DHABA kicked ass.

After finishing our food, we were about to get back on our bikes when Pashya asked everyone whether anyone wished to have a paan( betel leaf). I agreed & that was my mistake. But who knew a simple “paan” would shoot you so up high in the sky which even the “vodkas “ & “ whiskys “couldn’t. He asked me whether I would like to try the “KULCHAND” flavor. I agreed & when the first bite went into my mouth, the world seemed to rotate much faster than you had ever leant in your physics class. My head started spinning & for the first time I felt I’l actually fall if I take a step or two further. I somehow managed to go near the bikes as Satya & Pashya took them out. Satya didn’t have the paan. That was very good for me as I was traveling with him. Halfway through the journey I was returning back to my senses. But still there was a little merry go round like feeling. We reached back at Satyas place at around 0300 hrs. Vickya dropped off Pashya & Anpya and went off to his place. As soon as Anpya got down from the bike he fell down & simply couldn’t get up. All he could do was abuse Pashya for feeding him the “paan” while we just couldn’t stop our laughing. He somehow manged to get up & walk with us into the bungalow. As we sat, he held his head in his hands & continued the good work of abusing Pashya. Rest all of us were just laughing our hearts out. In no time, we were on our beds.

The night was just folding itself up. I was lying down on the bed reminiscing all the anecdotes . My head was still spinning & in that spinning head like moment, I spun a fibre of thought that I would surely write about this one of the most adventurous night of my life. I got up the next morining. The hangover was still felt. Pashya & Anpya had left. And I had just started the structure of this first blog of mine..

Cheers
LALIT

P.S:- Now you the reason for the insane title of this post & also the reason why i couldn't resist using it. N ha one more thing. Thanks for reading my first blog. Hope to find you guys soon in somtime. Btw here are their actual names...
Pashya = Prashant
Anpya = Anoop
Shikya = Shikhar
Vickya = Vicky & last but not the least
Satya = Satyakam

Enjoy